I know, many folks aren't fans of the frenetic energy and over-population of IKEA stores. But if you can get past the enormous parking lot and actually into the store, and if you glean a sense of direction and learn to actually locate the items you need, the place is a treasure trove. I have several $1 alarm clocks I've used regularly for many years. But recently I made a purchase that has transformed my home and, in a way, therefore, my life. (Without being too dramatic of course.)
Never having been a huge fan of drapes, and always fond of using objects for purposes for which they were never intended, I've not done much about window dressing in my house, although I've lived here for nine years. This hundred-year-old house has beautiful lead paned windows and privacy is an issue only from certain views. Some windows, including those in my bedroom and living room have been bedecked with saris from the Indian stores on Devon Avenue. Once recently I realized that it was possible to see right through those gorgeous saris and straight into my bedroom — yikes! So I decided another solution was in order, not to mention that the saris weren't hemmed, looked a bit tired, didn't flatter the house from outside, and weren't me anymore. So I headed to IKEA thinking I would drape my bedroom. I found 95" long white drapes that hang from large (3"?) grommets at the top. Three packages of drapes (2 panels per) plus the hardware for six windows cost me around $80. My singing student Tom taught me how to use a drill and affix metal anchors in my plaster walls, and within no time the drapes were hung. Quelle difference! My room went from marginal and boring to elegant and airy. Especially beautiful is the way the white fabric of these drapes (a soft canvas) filters the light that comes in, so now the room is cool and airy. From there, I moved on to the guest room, then the living room, and finally the sun room. I cannot express what a change this has been and how much more I'm enjoying my home thanks to these very reasonable drapes from IKEA. So, IKEA, I sing your praises!
La - la - LAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
And I thank you.
p.s. I bought all the drapes and hardware zip-fast in the self-service aisle.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
I'M SO #&@*#& MAD!!
Actually I'm not mad, well at least I'm not angry. Mad I might be, colorfully so!
Anger is an issue for many, and it's something that can momentarily control the emotions and even behavior of most of us, at least sometimes. Anger is a natural, necessary emotion that helps us set boundaries and know what's right or wrong, especially what's right or wrong for us. Unaware of the origins of our anger, though, we can let it spill out everywhere, at other people, at ourselves, at life itself. Or it can remain so contained inside some of us that we resist feeling it and never allow ourselves to fully feel when things aren't right for us.
My father never concerned himself with monitoring or restricting his anger. Everyone who knew my dad said of him, "Elmer's got a chip on his shoulder." Indeed. Deeper than that, though, I think my father had no idea what to do with his anger, nor where it came from. He seemed filled with anger much of the time, at least while I was growing up (ultimately he remarried, and he seemed to be happier then). Dad's anger must have been huge and overpowering because we saw evidence of it frequently, daily. He wasn't a screamer. But he frowned, he sneered with contempt, and he used profanity in a staccato fashion, never intoning the "f" word, but peppering his conversation with constant "goddamns". "If that goddamned waitress doesn't bring us the goddamned food soon, I'm going to goddamned give her a piece of my goddamned mind." Colorful? ...maybe in a play or in a book, but so scary to a child. His treatment of service people shaped my own attitude toward them — to be the opposite of my father. I can and will express disappointment about food or service, but with a soft touch and a light heart, approaches my father didn't have the tools to use.
Emotions associated with experiences we had when we were young can be triggered by certain words or events. My therapist, Bill, taught me that our anger (or other emotion) is "old", i.e. related to childhood experiences, when what we feel is beyond what would be appropriate for a given situation. If we feel anger and then begin to sort of willy nilly assign blame to situations and people, it can be old anger coming out sideways at people that really deserve no guilt.
It is helpful to realize the origins of our anger, which perhaps derives from a parent who was always late to our recital or graduation, or who yelled at us when we were innocent, or a teacher who ignored us, or classmates who bullied, insulted, or rejected us. In realizing that we are triggered by issues we have previously been wounded by, we understand why reliving such events feels so big to us. It's also quite possible, though, that we will never remember or come to know all the precise details of the origins of our anger. But we can stay aware and notice the level of our reactions. We can notice when we're going "down the tube" and then make a choice about how we want to feel. We can journal, talk to a friend, or use art & music to externalize and express our emotions. We can live our life rather than letting the events of our life rule us.
Off to work out!
Anger is an issue for many, and it's something that can momentarily control the emotions and even behavior of most of us, at least sometimes. Anger is a natural, necessary emotion that helps us set boundaries and know what's right or wrong, especially what's right or wrong for us. Unaware of the origins of our anger, though, we can let it spill out everywhere, at other people, at ourselves, at life itself. Or it can remain so contained inside some of us that we resist feeling it and never allow ourselves to fully feel when things aren't right for us.
My father never concerned himself with monitoring or restricting his anger. Everyone who knew my dad said of him, "Elmer's got a chip on his shoulder." Indeed. Deeper than that, though, I think my father had no idea what to do with his anger, nor where it came from. He seemed filled with anger much of the time, at least while I was growing up (ultimately he remarried, and he seemed to be happier then). Dad's anger must have been huge and overpowering because we saw evidence of it frequently, daily. He wasn't a screamer. But he frowned, he sneered with contempt, and he used profanity in a staccato fashion, never intoning the "f" word, but peppering his conversation with constant "goddamns". "If that goddamned waitress doesn't bring us the goddamned food soon, I'm going to goddamned give her a piece of my goddamned mind." Colorful? ...maybe in a play or in a book, but so scary to a child. His treatment of service people shaped my own attitude toward them — to be the opposite of my father. I can and will express disappointment about food or service, but with a soft touch and a light heart, approaches my father didn't have the tools to use.
Emotions associated with experiences we had when we were young can be triggered by certain words or events. My therapist, Bill, taught me that our anger (or other emotion) is "old", i.e. related to childhood experiences, when what we feel is beyond what would be appropriate for a given situation. If we feel anger and then begin to sort of willy nilly assign blame to situations and people, it can be old anger coming out sideways at people that really deserve no guilt.
It is helpful to realize the origins of our anger, which perhaps derives from a parent who was always late to our recital or graduation, or who yelled at us when we were innocent, or a teacher who ignored us, or classmates who bullied, insulted, or rejected us. In realizing that we are triggered by issues we have previously been wounded by, we understand why reliving such events feels so big to us. It's also quite possible, though, that we will never remember or come to know all the precise details of the origins of our anger. But we can stay aware and notice the level of our reactions. We can notice when we're going "down the tube" and then make a choice about how we want to feel. We can journal, talk to a friend, or use art & music to externalize and express our emotions. We can live our life rather than letting the events of our life rule us.
Off to work out!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
To bang or not to bang?
I like bangs; that is to say, I like a cute fringe on a face. In its best form it's kicky and sassy, youthifying, and adorable.
But bangs can also be overwhelming, unflattering, too much, too little, hard to control, frustrating to grow out, not as elegant as sans bangs... And, the cut of the bangs is key. Too layered? - not attractive. Unlayered and blunt? - can pull the face downward. Too long....too short....full? partial? There are so many options, as many as the myriad potential problems any which one can cause. Exasperated sigh.
For years I've been considering having bangs. On my behalf my daughter told our mutual hairdresser that I was considering getting bangs. "She absolutely should not do it!" she cried. "It will age her considerably." (Why did it sound to me as if she already found me aged, even in my current bangless form? Was she mistakenly imagining I meant a thick fringe all across the forehead? Banish the possibility! How could a bit of bang, just a side-swiping slant, possibly be all that bad? Her warning did not dissuade me.)
Lately I've been noticing that some of the hair around my face is either new-grown or broken off from coloring or wear-and-tear, imparting an unintentional but not unflattering mini bang. So the other evening as I was readying myself for tango, I thought, heck, why not clip off a few strands and see how it looks? So I executed a snip here, one there, a few more, and I had....something or other.
I like it!
I went for it (an important impetus for moving-forward in life) and I did it, and luckily I like it!
The bang is born. Not the BIG bang, but just a minor league bang: more than a whimper, but not too much more, more like a wispy shy smile of a bang. ;) But a sweet, appealing smile.
Note to self: Don't wait so long to try out something new. Follow my instincts! Go for it. Pay less attention to naysayers. Trust in myself and my ideas.
Update! I'm so happy I fringed myself! I like living on the fringe! Seriously, I think this was a change I needed. A student of mine who's a hair stylist said she thinks as we age we all need a little bang. :) I agree! I'm adding a little more bang to my life. In fact, I'm heading upstairs right now to find my scissors.
But bangs can also be overwhelming, unflattering, too much, too little, hard to control, frustrating to grow out, not as elegant as sans bangs... And, the cut of the bangs is key. Too layered? - not attractive. Unlayered and blunt? - can pull the face downward. Too long....too short....full? partial? There are so many options, as many as the myriad potential problems any which one can cause. Exasperated sigh.
For years I've been considering having bangs. On my behalf my daughter told our mutual hairdresser that I was considering getting bangs. "She absolutely should not do it!" she cried. "It will age her considerably." (Why did it sound to me as if she already found me aged, even in my current bangless form? Was she mistakenly imagining I meant a thick fringe all across the forehead? Banish the possibility! How could a bit of bang, just a side-swiping slant, possibly be all that bad? Her warning did not dissuade me.)
Lately I've been noticing that some of the hair around my face is either new-grown or broken off from coloring or wear-and-tear, imparting an unintentional but not unflattering mini bang. So the other evening as I was readying myself for tango, I thought, heck, why not clip off a few strands and see how it looks? So I executed a snip here, one there, a few more, and I had....something or other.
I like it!
I went for it (an important impetus for moving-forward in life) and I did it, and luckily I like it!
The bang is born. Not the BIG bang, but just a minor league bang: more than a whimper, but not too much more, more like a wispy shy smile of a bang. ;) But a sweet, appealing smile.
Note to self: Don't wait so long to try out something new. Follow my instincts! Go for it. Pay less attention to naysayers. Trust in myself and my ideas.
Update! I'm so happy I fringed myself! I like living on the fringe! Seriously, I think this was a change I needed. A student of mine who's a hair stylist said she thinks as we age we all need a little bang. :) I agree! I'm adding a little more bang to my life. In fact, I'm heading upstairs right now to find my scissors.
Ex-play-nay-shun !
Why 'Olive'?
I like'em!: Tasty, salty, savory, spicy or not, loved by many but honestly disliked by some, gourmet or humble, of the earth yet tweaked, compact & able to be carried with, complimentary to other flavors, inspirational, literary, lovely in shade and texture. Spherical.
And 'Twig'?
Cuter and more dear than 'branch', earthy, strong but not too, able to hold an ornament but not so brittle it cannot bend, powerful foil to 'olive', buildable, may be extended as peace offering especially in tandem with 'olive'.
I like'em!: Tasty, salty, savory, spicy or not, loved by many but honestly disliked by some, gourmet or humble, of the earth yet tweaked, compact & able to be carried with, complimentary to other flavors, inspirational, literary, lovely in shade and texture. Spherical.
And 'Twig'?
Cuter and more dear than 'branch', earthy, strong but not too, able to hold an ornament but not so brittle it cannot bend, powerful foil to 'olive', buildable, may be extended as peace offering especially in tandem with 'olive'.
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